We have an appointment to make an appointment. . . .

Stupidly sad that I missed the parade. And I wasn't pretty enough. And I didn't get a picture with my family. Why can't I get over it? It wasn't about me.

If you don't count the one staff member who is definitely beyond child-raising age, literally HALF of Mr's department is knocked up. Awesome.

Is the day that I found out that the appeal closed. Two months for paperwork to get sorted out and we can set a date for adoption.

Kiddo still calls me by my name. I don't mind. What we call each other doesn't define our relationship.

Except it does. Because the only times he calls me "mom" are when I give him some sort of order. The kind of order that comes with an implied (or spoken) "or else!" Those are the times he calls me "mom". Or "sir".

And while I've been identified as mom for about a year, despite what I've been called, Mr. has only just begun being identified as dad. Kiddo has recently started to talk about his two dads: Mr. and Daddy. At school this week, the question of the day was, "Who gives the best hugs?" Of the narrow, traditional, family titles offered, Kiddo chose "dad". Going over our day at dinner I took a risk and asked Kiddo about it:

- What was the question of the day?
- Who gives the best hugs.
- What did you answer?

His whole body just exploded with love and he pointed with his whole arm and chest to Mr. and said, "You!"

He jumped into his dad's arms for one of those amazing hugs and at least half of us shed a couple of tears.

Mr. has had the short straw in this whole relationship development thing. Daddy had always made sure that he was king of Kiddo's heart. Kiddo started identifying me as his mom a little over a year after he stopped seeing his mama regularly. It has been about 14 months since Kiddo has seen his daddy.

1tsp_grace stayed up too late to get laid.

It is incredibly insulting to turn down someone's offer to make homemade soup from the delicious Thanksgiving leftovers, throw out the carcass, and then go out at a later time and BUY soup to serve to the person who offered to make you some.

We've seen my parents a LOT lately. Ten days in July and and a handful of days here and there in September. Kiddo knows them well and loves them dearly, but he's seen them so much more in the last few months than in the last couple of years and has picked up a disconcerting habit.

He prays.

So I was raised in church. My father's career has been in the church. Neither of my parents sit down to a meal without saying a prayer, sometimes silent and discrete but often with hand-holding and in"Jesus' name".

And now kiddo wants to pray. He wants to hold hands and have a moment before dinner. Because Mr. and I don't pray we defer to him. Kiddo says lots of Thank You and I Love You.

The Thank You I get. I am thankful.I am thankful beyond words for food and security and family. There is a deep, emotional, very close to the surface reservoir of thankfulness for my little impossible family. So I get that.

But who does he love? I mean, I know he loves his family. I think that is who he means when he prays. I have no idea who he thinks he is talking to or what he thinks he is talking about. I'll have to ask him.

There are no words for how much I love this kid.

The kids' dad IS contesting. He filed an appeal TEN DAYS after the termination of parental rights. OVER TWO MONTHS AGO. Guess who is just hearing about it now? Yup.

Thanks so much, esteemed social worker, for assuring us that you expected an adoption date THIS YEAR.

Thank God we are not telling people anything in real life. New best guess for a date? Next May.