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My husband and I are in our very early thirties. We have been married for almost ten years. We have been trying, unsuccessfully, to become pregnant since the summer of 2003. We started with Natural Family Planning, but it just became depressing to continue after awhile. Every time I took my temperature I was reminded that we were not having success. What a way to start each day. . . .

Right now we are in a place where we can pursue more medically oriented strategies as far as finances go, and we are starting along that path. I still struggle some with ethical issues related to this. If I'm just not meant to become pregnant, then is it right to manipulate my body toward that end? Perhaps more importantly, how much work, money, heartache, and medical manipulation is justified when there are already so many unwanted children in the world that we could love?

We decided before we began that we weren't going to tell our families that we were trying. I knew I couldn't take the strain of dealing with people's concerns if things didn't go smoothly. I don't regret that decision, but I find that there are a lot of things that I need to talk about that are off limits with the people I usually talk about big stuff with.

So that is what this is for. I need to process my experiences with infertility treatment, hash out my thoughts and feelings about conception vs. taking in the children of others, and express the pain and guilty sadness I feel when I find out that other people are expecting.

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